Poor old Tom. He's having a hard time again with schools and private teaching companies. The inane Thai way of dealing with problems and situations has everyone I know banging their heads against walls and slamming their fingers in doors in a vain attempt to understand how the Thai mind works. I nod politely and express mild wafts of sympathy. Alas, it is something I witness all too often and it is only a few falang that have gained even a modacum of mastery of resisting the urge to smack your face into a brick wall in sheer frustration at the brilliance of the Thai way of thinking. I have spoken many times, that the only way to not want to blow your own brains out when dealing with Thais, in certain situations, you understand, is to adopt the role of total indifference. Don't offer to help, don't suggest anything, don't interact with them except only in the most limited way possible. Dear old Patrick whose sweet Irish mind is brimming with good ideas and handy hints for the classroom, is left feeling dashed and bewildered at the confusion, non-acceptance and chaos that reigns after every time he opens his mouth.
I remember, in the dim and distant past, I used to be a good sport and talk about adventure holidays for the kids and exchange days for foreign teachers between schools, so everyone could have a break and the kids could meet someone new. "Yes. Yes," they all chimed to my ideas. And that is as far as any of these rare pearls of wisdom went. "They don't want your help," I plead with Tom. "You are invisible.", "You are the dancing white monkey, and that's all they want you to be." They want you be be clean, on time, polite, smile, and stand tall on every occasion that they troop you in front of a crowd of gawping, fearful parents who have come to watch the show. "Don't do any more than that."
Some folks can figure this out fairly quickly, others have a hard time in accepting these starnge rules. Long lost friend Gee once told me, "Thailand is like a beautiful cake....with nothing inside." And that is very true. They love beauty, shallow beauty. But quality is incomprehensible to them. They adore paper work, one can walk past classroom after classroom where children sit quietly while the teachers heads are buried in mountains of books, busily marking.
I am no master of the art of "how to live in Thailand without wanting to become a self-confessed chicken strangler", but I have learnt some things. Like I tell Oi with the neighbours, "Hello", "Goodbye". That's about as far as you want to go in numerous situations. Otherwise you might find yourself handing over large sums of money or becoming enraged over something very small.
Of course, language plays a huge part, and one can skillfully, even playfully weave through the flak of any Thai encounter. But to go in unarmed, to raise one's voice when one is served the wrong dish at a restaurant, or even offer a complaint about anything, is asking for trouble. "Say nothing. Accept it and walk away."
Tom even confess that he knows how to play the game when stopped by a policeman on his motorbike. "This is my ATM card. This is my Gym card. This is my....", "Okay, okay" mutteres the tired policeman and Tom is on his way. One needs to learn to play it the other way. "The Gray Man" as I read in an Andy MacNabb book. "Head down, say nothing and no harm will come to you". Indeed, one of the joys of this country is that you really are nearly invisible. You can go anywhere and never be questioned. Occassionally, one might feel an arm on your elbow as you are guided in the right direction. And yes, they will get you out of a tight squeeze if something nasty is about to kick off. One must learn the ways of the Thai. "In a town where everyone winks, you also must wink" is a Thai phrase.
I don't like dwelling on this subject because it is not good to diss the people and country where you live, but many of my friends have regular rants about the sheer frustration endured when dealing with Thai people.
Two thing Aussie friend, Danny said who had lived here for more than ten years, that I find very true, and indeed I have stated them here before;
"Thai people are incredibly tolerant of each other, and incredibly inconsiderate of each other."\
and...
"A Thai will be your best friend, until he wants to kill you."
That's it. Enough ranting. Enjoy your super day.
2 comments:
Yesterday there were high winds in downtown Valencia. I was rushing home from lunch with Baby in the pram. Half way across the Gran Via I car pulling over as a fallen palm tree branch had become jammed under a front wheel. He carefully pulled over and yanked out the branch, bent it in two and shoved it into a hedge. Meanwhile, the woman driver behind was sounding her horn, throwing her arms in the air; in a fury. Even when the man held up the branch to explain his need to stop, she continued to spit and curse. He simply showed her the back of his hand and drove back into the swathe of lunchtime traffic.
Needless to say, I was appalled but took careful note of how the fellow handled it.
In Valencia people are incredibly intolerant of each other and incredibly inconsiderate too. However, if they see you eating something they will wish you good appetite.
Thais don't display anger. But, if they do, someone usually dies.
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