2013

It's been a lovely and peaceful break over Christmas and the new year.

I have had time to relax and pursue a few points of interest.

I made some TV time and watched some Survivor shows. The movies, Lawless, Dredd, Cloud Atlas and The Words were all excellent. I have since downloaded the book of Cloud Atlas and began reading.

On the gaming side I have been enjoying Far Cry 3 on the PC, and on the ipad I have acquired these ancient classics, The Lords of Midnight and Zork (text adventure). The ipad is a fantastic medium for retro gaming. I am looking forward to some peaceful times revisiting text adventures. They were wonderful at the time when I was about 13 or 14, and my grate friend, Peter and I built our fantasy world around these things. If he hadn't of been there, it would not have had any of the charm. I'm very grateful for the company of my companion to share and marvel at these wonders. It was a fantastic boyhood. A shame I didn't really develop much beyond that.

Grandma Noi has been with us over the break which has been brilliant for Grace and Oi, and it allows me to sneak off into the gaming room.

Don was hoping to stay but, with a family, it ain't that practical for us and difficult for me to balance the two. He has since opted to stay at Lee's house.

Back to school tomorrow and some preparation is necessary.

We got two more months before we are due to relocate. SHould be quite an adventure!

Happy New Year all,

Christmas Week

It's been a fun week of Christmas. The big day was uber exciting as Grace got her stocking then opened all her presents. We didn't venture out. She got a Thomas Tank Engine train set, a toy camera, some dollies, some cheepee lego, a giant doll houe from Mum,.

I've been swimming again and feel great and have been drinking Mean Greens too. So feel pretty good right now.

Philip has been on a trip over to Thailand to visit his mum and siblings. He, his wife and 2 year old daughter, Chloe came over for dinner last night. We had a huge Som Tam feast with grilled pork and chicken. It was super yummy and we got through an incredible eight large Singhas topped off with a bottle of Champagne that he brought. Chloe and Grace held hands from the start and they both got busy in the toy room, while the adults got loaded. New metered taxis mean guests can return home in style at a preordained time. A wonderful evening and young Philip was in top form as always and full of stories of Korea and his career. He's heading for a PHD and is going to University College Chichester for his teaching work, which was my last job as a facilities manager in UK. Bizzare!!! I want him to hook up with the caretakers and maintenance staff when he goes. He can have a great time with those boys.

Enjoying a weeks break from work and relaxing about the house. We have to start thinking soon, what with the move to Chum Pon only a couple of months away.

Oi's mum has arrived for a quick break. She's very happy about Grace, especially now Grace can talk fairly well now and they can converse.

I saw The Snowman and the Snowdog, the new Snowman cartoon by Raymond Briggs. I liked it, though not a classic like the orginal.

We have been watching Survivor on a daily basis. What a great show.

Movies? Lawless is awesome.

Music? Got hold of a Sister Nancy album. Currently listening to some VU as I write (All Tomorrow's Parties)

Had a good week of swimming and drinking Mean Greens. PLaying Far Cry 3 like there is no tomorrow and browsing the news on the Net in my usual fashion. Listened to some radio but usually asleep before too long.

It's nearly here!

Most folks here have gone away, so its been a good time not to go crazy with the food and the booze. Cash is also tight right now. I am happy just to be at home and relax. I will watch some great TV and movies and rest.

There is a pile of presents on top of the wardrobe for the little princess. I remarked to Oi that Grace hasn't looked up yet and spotted them. I am sure that will come next year.

It's a shame we can't put the presents under the tree, but she would open them for sure.

Gracie is getting very excited now and opening the windows of the advent calendar has become a great event.

Last Friday I hosted what was my Christmas bash for the guys. Patrick and Tom came. Lee came along with Tom. They had been on an all day bender and were suitably "baked", as was I. I started celebrating right after school where I was Santa Claus once again. Grace came with me, but it was a bit much for her really. She started crying when I had to dance about on the stage with all the little Santas.

On the way home I picked up some Guinness and enjoyed the rest of the day.

At home, we are watching episodes of Survivor which is fun. It's a show that Oi can really enjoy too. On Pirate Bay there is a backlog of entire series that one can acquire.

I have played a few games of Far Cry 3 multiplayer which is cool.

So, generally, trying to be good and watch my waistline this year.

Merry Christmas one and all!

Hello, little squirrels. Come into my shelter, away from the rain under the roots of a great old oak tree. Huddle 'round, as I read you an old, old story....

This week I have been revelling in the arrival of Christmas. I have been singing Silver Bells everywhere I go, as it stands as my very favourite Christmas song. I was telling Tom the other night over a dark glass of Malaysian Guinness, " I adore the line,"The corner Santa Claus, Is busy now because, It's Christmas Time in the city." I was remarking at how strange it is to have a corner Santa Claus." Do Santa's hang around on street corners hassling people?

I have also been winding Grace up something rotten about Christmas. I wrote a letter to Santa for her, built her an advent calander (which she has since opened all the windows for!), telephoned Santa not to bring her any presents, cut and glued a cotten ball Santa'a beard et all. It's been fun.

I had a healthy investment in building up the decoration stock pile. I bought two sets of lights, four sets of hanging decorations to liven up the ceiling and a bunch of expensive glittery things to hang about the place. It does look pretty good now.

I have been watching some Paul Kelly videos on utube.

Tom and Patrick came over the other night for some fun.

The Hobbit was awful. I was so excited I ate a chunk of "coffee" beforehand and set off to the cinema. It was freezing in there. Initially, I loved it, but things began to turn very sour. I was so cold, the constant CGI battles so loud and invasive that I had to flee (quite near the end I think). I felt like I was going to faint or die in there. The acting was shammy, and it slowly turned into a CGI mud fest which was utter garbage. I can watch that on my PC at home. Gandalf became a series of ludicrous pixels, jumping over vast bridges and bottomless chasms. Oh dear! Peter Jackson died in my arms that night.

I won't be going to the next one. If you like Van Helsing movie and The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, then you will love it.

My manager, Pee Dtoi and 2 others have been in a serious car crash and are all in hospital. They are okay but will take a few months I fear.

Making  Christmas trees with the kids at school and snacking on blue cheese, olives, dried ham, gherkins, salt and vinegar Kettle crisps, fried mushrooms, wine and Guinness at home and having a wonderful time amid disaster.

Merry Christmas. (it's not too early to say that, is it?)

btw looking forward to series 3 of Elven Quest, Peter. Series 2 must have a re-listen as I have been too drunk/stoned/tired to properly appreciate it.

THE SWORD OF ASTAGAR!!!!!!

Far Cry 3

This game is incredibly awesome. An enormous island, sand box style, wander anywhere, on foot, jeep, boat, hang glider, quad bike etc. It is funtastic. Search for relics or blast terroroist camps.

Earlier I was tracking along a path and heard some shots. I rounded the hill and spotted a gun fight . I whipped out my sniper rifle and picked a few off. Oh pooh! I just shot my allies who declared me a traitor and started after me. I pulled out my grenade launcher, as I was feeling lazy and scared and lobbed some grenades their way. All dead, I thought I had best boost my cash and loot their bodies. A growl, a roar and suddenly a rogue tiger is on me. I pull away and blast it with the shot gun.

That was a fun few minutes in this amazing game.

If you have a PC then get it. You won't be sorry.

Been watching Smillas Sense of Snow and Bing Crosby Christmas tunes, though its a tad early....

Christmas is Coming.

It would appear that I have reached my memory limit on uploading pictures to my blog. I will have to investigate and decide how to proceed. I may have to start another one.

Thankfully I went to the gym and pulled myself out of self loathing and despair. I feel okay again now, but am suffering from a bronchial infection that sees me coughing up horrible phlegm and being victim to awful sneezing attacks wherever I come into contact with air conditioning. This polluted air could wipe us off the planet.


Patrick invited me over last night for a shin-dig. It was quite and humorous insults were exchanged as everyone got tipsy.

It's the king's birthday today, so we get a day off. I can relax a bit, though I have the private class tonight. I started Christmas activities early in my haste. It's funny how Grace has resurrected my fondness of Chrimbo. I didn't think much about it for a few years, though strangely it has always been fairly prominent in my life, having worked in a toy department and teaching little children. I am glad I never graduated to the boring adult world.

Far Cry Swimming

Yesterday, I was in a torrid rage. Angry at everything, moments from catastrophy. I knew what was wrong. I had to swim. I rushed to the gym, praying I had enough cash in the machine for a months membership. For once, my luck was in. I went. I joined. I swam. And instantly cured my fever.

Today I did half an hour on the bike as I am a trifle unwell.

Rising at 3:30 I stumbled to the PC and fired it up. Far Cry 3? What's this? Best game ever? I loaded up Steam and there it was, with a timer, "This game will be available to play in 3 hours." I scrambled across the keyboard and managed a purchase with my existing account, and frighteningly easy to empty my bank account. However, to this day I have only ever purchased two games through Steam, the other being the incredible Skyrim.

Anyway, I bought the fucker and went to work as it slowly downloaded. Cheerful at work, knowing there would be something awesome for me waiting at home, I went to the gym on the way home and did an easy, yet fullfilling, thirty minutes on the bike.

Home now, coffee-ed up and just finished my first session, on what could, briefly resurrect PC gaming for me. I haven't played anything since the life threatening experience with Stronghold Kingdoms, a game in which I saw the terrible sickness of gaming addiction, which in a single night I rid myself of.

You can imagine how wonderful Far Cry 3 is. The first installment remains, perhaps, my favourite game of all time.

Loving ElvenQuest and have happily arrived at series 2. The Lord Darkness has me laughing out loud in the middle of the night as babes in arms sleep soundly beside me. If you ever want to laugh?...Oh do shut up, Jim!

Rolling Stones and recent Stranglers get some airplay.

Batman entertains, and a brief encounter with the beautiful Smilla's Sense for Snow.

Sweet Approaching Floppy Hat of Christmas

A boring Thursday.  A busy work schedule and a dumb camp on Saturday, at my school as it happens. Am I supposed to limit my extra-curiculla activities?

I had a 4 pack of blacks tonight and Canada Mark brought some "coffee" for me, so I am suitably sedated.

The newly discovered Stranglers Acoustic in Bruge is delightful, ambiant and light, echoed with the timelessly wise words of these noble men.

I am playing a wonderful new game on the Ipad. "Knights of Pen and Paper". It's a DM (Dungeon Master) sitting on a table in front of you, in very blocky retro graphics and you can build a party of bold adventurers sitting on the other side of the table facing him. You can pick Nerds and Pizza Guys who can take the roles of Hunters, Mages, Clerics, Warriors, Rogues and the like.

Then you can travel about a blocky map carrying out fun quests and buying gorgeous armour and magic weapons in the villages and castle settlements, Clearing out caves teeming with goblins and battling sand worms and giant grubs. Level up and award yourself with a skill improving damage, healing, sleep, meteor storm such as the character provides.

You can make armour at the blacksmith and equip each character with rings, and swords, wand, armour etc.

All dialogue is in speech bubbles and very comic, simulating a game of D&D in someone's house. Great fun and hopelessly addicted.

I've been watching TV. Nashville. An American series and fun viewing.

I simply adore ElvenQuest and have so far listened to four episodes. Yea, the dark lord is hilarious. I look forward to further listens.

Christmas looming. I believe I shall be popping out to buy some goodies, like cheese, dried meat, olives,cheese  biscuits, butterscotch biscuits, gin, Guinness, and maybe some whiskey. I might even make my special salsa and some morning whiskey coffees. One must at least attempt to enjoy the event, and get as stuffed and loaded as possible. Stumble about the house muttering obscure John Cusack quotations from a forgotten 80's lost gem. Weep some soppy tears as one engages in a flackback to younger days in a drunken Utube evening on ones own. Catch yourself trying to hopelessly explain some incredible philosophy you possess that the other party has no interest in knowing about. Yes, it all happens at Christmas.

Arse

Saturday evening and I spent the day in slow recovery from a fun night out last night.

I went over to Tom's apartment and we sank some blacks while we chatted about fun stuff. Then we headed over to Patrick's who was hosting another meal, cooked by his girlfriend, Ying. Patrick's been steady with her for a while now and she's moved in. Patrick actually seems a bit calmer these days, presumably because of the woman.

It was a fun night and I stayed awake until I left at about 3. Lots of chat, an exchange of music courtesy of Utube and plenty of laughter. My looming departure seems to have prompted social activity.

I'm looking forward to moving, because the feeling if I wasn't moving would be one of boredom on the treadmill of life. So I am very glad of the upcoming change of scene. And Chum Phon is greatly situated for holidays, trips to Bangkok, world class beaches and islands.

The Stranglers have raised their ugly heads on Win Amp lately, which has proved fun.

I'm working a lot but enjoying it and having quite a blast with students which probably comes with having clocked up ten years teaching experience. I keep meeting teachers just off the plane who don't know shit and give appalling lessons to deathly bored students. Ahhh! They get no sympathy from me, especially as they receive the same fucking wage. Yes, experience counts for nothing in this land. At least in terms of cash which is how things are valued in the world of Man.

In attempts to pacify Grace I appear to have erred and introduce the coming of Christmas a few weeks too early. We took a trip into town today in the chill taxi and bought some xmas decorations. Grace went mad as usual running around the store having a blast. Somehow I managed to get out of putting up the xmas tree when we got home, but I did have to join her in the pool 3 times.

Now evening draws on and hopefully I can chill with a couple of drinks, some tunes some comedy radio shows (ElvenQuest) before I drag my sorry arse off to bed to rise again on Sunday.

Smart English have kindly booked my arse for another shitty English camp next Saturday, all for free of course leaving me precious little time to rest. Oh the humanity!

North Winds Blowing,,,,

I saw an orange robe burning
I saw a youth on fire
I saw metal machines that were turning
On a generation that hadn't yet tired
I heard of two generations being murdered
In a Europe that was shrouded in black
I witnessed the birth pains of new nations
When the chosen people finally went back
North Winds Blowing
I wish it would Blow all away
North Winds Blowing I wish they would blow all away
I wish they would blow all away
I saw freedom in the shape of disease
 And mainly men had to quench their desire
And while a few could do just as they pleased
I saw kids whose bellies were all on fire.
When all is dead and war is over
When hollow victory has been won
Who will join in the celebration
Of the evil that just can't be undone?
North Winds Blowing I wish it would Blow all away
North Winds Blowing I wish they would blow all away
I wish they would blow all away
I used to dream about destruction
But now that I feel it getting near
I spend rny time watching the ocean
And waves are all I want to hear
I wish I was a believer
I'd spend less time in being sad
So many laws against disbelieving
Don't know who's good or who's bad

Songkhla Savvy

Back from our monthly break in Songkhla by the sea. Getting there by taxi is most welcome. No longer do we cling on for dear life 'cross field and dual carriageway for an hour. Instead we endure the driver's breakneck speed as he is thinking about his next job. Still, we got there and our regular hotel, the Som Soon 2 or something. The Som Soon 1 is a wooden ruin next door though atheistically quite pleasing in its Chinese rectangular design. . Simple, but clean and the staff, a bunch of fat ladies, are kind and friendly. It's a bargain and one steps out into the night market for a eye-watering array of food stalls, crazy gifts, toys, clothes and craft. As well as a street cinema, bands and local dancing and entertainment acts.

This time, and for the first time, we got a suite room at a grand fee of 600 baht. For that you get another half room with armchairs and a great view over Songkhla and the not-so-distant mountains.

We went to the Songkhla national museum, but I refused to go in when I was charged 150 baht, as opposed to Oi's 30 baht, as a Thai national. That's a 500% hike up. I know not to show annoyance, so I just told the woman I had been here for 10 years and left it at that. I could have told her that I help little Thai kids every day and that I am not rich and just a regular person, but I knew not to.

The food was excellent. The night market provided a huge spread of noodles in yummy sauce, chicken crackling (little, very chewable knuckles of chicken bone and hugely scrumptious), carved chicken and rice, vegetable spring rolls and probably some others that slip the mind. We also had a couple of delightful visits to the Hot Bread Bakery for a scrummy roast beef sandwich, with beetroot, tomatoes and salad. And this morning, a wonderful English breakfast; sausage, eggs, bacon and beans. Which was fine. All devoured with gusto, washed down with a "Big Coffee".

Grace had two visits to the playground. This time the swing was destroyed. This playground, provided by oil giant, Chevron, is more decrepit every time I come to this town. The see-saws never worked, then the tie in the plastic rope bridge disappeared leaving the two ends hanging, then the roundabout fell apart and now the swings.

Every time I come here I nag at Oi about why don't the Hell an oil giant like Chevron not come and repair it. There's always tons of people here and it's obviously very popular to the community. We come 30 miles to see this shit, damn it.


It's the same story all over. Nothing is maintained in this country. It's built and then run into the ground. New buildings have huge, ugly stains running down them within a couple of years and, of course, there's litter everywhere. STOP!!!

The room was lovely and I slept like a poor boy. Aljazeera was on the TV which I watched incessantly whilst lounging in as much of a relaxed manner as possible, and broke up the programs with bursts on the Ipad. I have just splashed out on Star Wars Angry Birds, Bad Piggies and Death Race, all of which are a blast. I should write a top ten. I am getting a little expert on new game news. They're so cheap and with user comment lines like; "incredible fun" and, "intense gameplay dying to draw you in!" doesn't receive much resistance from me. I bought two more when I came home. 

Sunday evening now. Lesson plans written and printed and a few beers to settle the night.

Nighty night all..

Still Rolling...

Thursday afternoon and a brief window of nothingness to bathe in. I purchased six lovely cans of Guinness in anticipation of my short time of isolated bliss. I got hold of the Seahorses album lately (John Squire) which plays and sounds pleasing.

The word is well and truly out that we are to depart Hat Yai in March, and this knowledge has lightened my load when it comes to working. Knowing that there is an end, not an endless treadmill, has set me in uncanny good spirits during class. Funny, isn't it? I have always liked to throw things up in the air and start again, and it definitely breaths fresh air into a stale life, for me anyway.

Pretty busy of late, doing private class every weekday after the regular job, but coping well so far. Normally we are in bed by6 half nine, and sleep comes easy.

We are off for our monthly Songkhla excursion tomorrow. This time, by luxury taxi. No more clinging on to dear life on the trusty motorbike. Metered taxis arrived just in time for mother's visit and blow local rip-off transport out of the fucking water. Perhaps a third of the price. I jest not.

Halloween has dominated my lessons, kids and adults alike. Thais love ghosts and the stories just flow about hearing strange noises and shadows. Great subject for an English lesson or five.

Grace has been great fun and is regularly belting out, "The Sun Willl Come Up Tomorrow", or chuckling to Tom and Jerry or the new Angry Birds game, Bad Piggies. She's certainly a happy little girl.

Mater's stock of food supplies is slowly being whittled away. Just the cheese left now and half a packet of Hob Nobs. I have been making Mean Greens like a mad witch on a mission, but the girth is yet to be reduced. I keep thinking, "Why isn't is going down?" I surmise that the larder must be bare before the fat can fall off. Quite upsetting really, that all my efforts went down the toilet. Still, as Jow Cross, from Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead stated, "Only you can decide what passes between your lips"

Been listening to Some Girls quite a bit lately and trudging through Moby Dick when I can resist the lure of the Ipad. For Ipad gamers, Punch Quest has proved breat fun.

Radio 4 has recieved a lot of airplay of late, The Today Programme and a great new show, Mastertapes, discussing classic albums, including Suzanne Vega and Billy Bragg. Both were great listening. The News Quiz and In Our Time get regular tweetment, as does Material World when imagination allows.

All for Now

Moby Dick

Sunday and I have indulged in a few afternoon beers, from the enormous stock left by Mater. I am in the midst of a crash diet, but remnants remain in the form of Snickers bars and cookies. My diet runs off the fact that I never shop, therefore never have any food in the house, thus I can drink mean green endlessly and never a chocolate bar will pass my cakehole. Until supplies are dry, my plans are foiled.

As posted on Facebook, I am currently in love with all things Herman Melville, that's Moby Dick to the uninformed. I grabbed a couple more of his works of Project Gutenberg and have been truly relishing the rich, seafaring, a-roving language of the leviathan novel. One can get lost in the words lying under the soporific lulling of the fan. Badly for me, sleep always comes too soon when reading. I sat through the movie this morning too, which was masterful. I remember glimpses of it from 30 years ago on BBC 2 on a rainy Sunday afternoon, the tattooed harpooner and other salty shipmates made a fantastic tale, and I was reminded of the excellent Billy Bud with Peter Ustinov. The prophetic dialogue of Moby Dick is of a biblical scale; rising once more before sinking into the waves forevermore. Poor Captain Ahab. I made a point of reciting the exact and correct pronunciation to Grace of "Ahab".

Mass private classes loom, of which I am not amused. I'm not quite sure why I am doing it. One wretched child dominates my thoughts. I may have to have words, if intolerance raises its ugly head.

We have had a very lazy weekend, sleeping and lounging about, though we did make it into the garden which makes an excellent tonic and exercise. I supposed we are still under the aftermath of Mater's visit.

I tracked down Sting's live album, "Bring On the Night", circa 1985. Released after, The Dream of the Blue Turtles which I still enjoy, though anything later I abhorred, Sting being reduced to the dishwater tripe normally reserved for Phil Collins. I remember attempting to persuade myself that the follow up album which I acquired in Australia in about 1988 was good. My effort didn't last and I moved on to something better, Rickie Lee Jones, Van Morrison and Bob Dylan, courtesy of Stuart Barrett. Thank God.

I enjoyed a fun night at Patrick's last Friday. I fell asleep on the floor quite early as usual and was awoken to leave at about 2. It was fun while I remained awake however, and possibly even as I slept. Tom was there, but I was too wasted to converse with any sincerity. Patrick has been friendly of late, perhaps as news of our departure has spread. He can be fun, as the Irish are, as long as things remain light. I welcome the companionship.

Mater's Gone

An urgent and horrible farewell at the airport and returning to an empty house. I went into her bedroom just to relive the feeling when she was here. The house seems hollow now. Even Grace cannot fill it. When I dwell on the matter, I want to tear it all up. Hat Yai is over for me and I can't wait to move.

Riding home in the taxi from the airport I looked out at the nighttime landscape at the alien surroundings and thinking, "Just how did I wind up here?" The feeling of detachment and isolation, left me longing for something familar.

Mater, and indeed all of us, had a fantastic time together. After the initial awkward settling in period, we eventually settled down into a routine of relative bliss, and things began to fall into place and relaxing times were had by all. It must be said, Oi did a great job of accompanying Mater on the daily shopathons which was much appreciated as I cannot do that.

There is a small pile of goodies to get through which might affect my immediate diet for a while, but I am confident I will be shedding the gained pounds in the near future.

Boring work looms on the horizon. Classes I don't want to attend. Faces I don't want to see. Somehow I must bluff my way through it until March, when we can throw in the towel and head for sandy beaches and new ventures.

Good luck, Mater on your return journey and hope to see you back here soon to fill our days with fun and happiness!

Scarecrow

Found this, for later viewing.

Currently ODing on period dramas, Helen Mirren etc....

Saturday Night

A day at the park has been followed up by a night in front of the PC. Strangley energized to know more, I have quested the forums and discovered an enormous treasure trove of goodies. Tons of Stones stuff, I seem to be really into them right now. I remember Jimmy V and I OD'd on them big time in the early 90's and I didn't listen to them for a decade. Now, I return with frightening frequency. Images of Keith kickstart me with an urge to rock out. Also on the trail of Neil Young and the Beatles whom have various secret stuff recently released. Neil still making albums which receive rave reviews in the Guardian and the like.

Times with Mum and Oi have amazingly levelled into a calming stream of easy living. I was thinking that Mum has slipping unconciously into Thai living, of lolling about, idling reading or playing cards. It's got very chilled of late. Mater makes a fine way out for Oi and I when we have had enough of each other. Grace is rolling along nicely too. Being an idiot however, I could easily be wrong.

Carrot, apple and parsley juice this morning at budget prices has me feeling good, and though I am pushing the boat out a bit while Mater remains with the beer and the snacks, I definitely feel a tad healthier. The dull ache in my heart has receded, and I had a coffee today to celebrate.

Just a few days left until Mater departs and sadness is lingering not far away. It really has worked out great and we have had some golden days indeed. I hope there are more down the line.

A Day at the Park

School

By some Thai trick of the moon, I am back at school, following another Smart English foul up. This means that my time with mum has been cut short by a week. I am trying to put a brave face on it and not return to the dark days I experienced last term.

My other boss is also trying to get me to work more. I have to beat these people of with shovels to get them to understand. When they only pay 300 lousy baht an hour the stupidity of these situations could make you cry. Repeated attempts to tell her, "I don't want to do any more classes." Goes unnoticed as a further request comes in. Roll on Chumphon!

So Maters last days in Thailand are here and things have quietened down somewhat. We watch movies, she reads books and plays Bridge on the ipad. It ain't bad.

Grace has been pushed off back to school. I had to introduce Christmas as a softener to take away the dread of being forced back to the inane nursery. Oi is going to request she change class as we have spied a potentially venomous teacher, who might be bad to kids. Nothing like China though if you have been reading the Daily Mail lately.

I am trying to negate the effects of chocolate, cheese, crisps and beer by making mean green juices as much as possible. Two jugs so far this week and another planned for tomorrow. The feast that accompanies Mater leaves me feeling bloated and ill, yet strangely irresistible. I survive on a very Spartan diet. An empty fridge is how I get by. Any trace of cookies leads me to immediate failure. My heart has also been giving me lingering dull aches of late too. I need to reverse this before I collapse on the floor and die.

I think Mater has slowly settled down a fraction to how we live out here, to be content with not doing too much. Gradually, the shopping trips have become slightly less frequent and Oi has made a great companion for her, which relieves myself of some of the shopping quests.

After Mater departs, Don is due to arrive. I am not at all in the mood for more company and will have to lay down a very short schedule for him. Else I fear I may lose my rag at some point, which has not happened in years.

Patrick's Visit

Yesterday we went to the floating market in Hat Yai. I hadn't been before and was pleasantly surprised. Another shopping frenzy entailed which saw me being religated to wandering about with Grace while Mater and wife disappeared into the bustling stalls. We hung about, ate ice creams and got lost in the crowd.

Waiting for the long overdue taxi, I suddenly had an urge for male companionship, so I called Patrick. We was keen to see Mater, presumably to talk about Ireland. He and his girlfriend came over and we had a great time drinking beer and recalling Peter O'Toole, Oliver Reed and Richard Harris. I was surprised at how fast Patrrick can drink, possibly slightly faster than me. A rainstorm delayed their departure which led to more drinking, a neck massage for Oi and I managed to get him to watch a fraction of the Laurie Taylor interview with Tom Baker. I was desperate to show him the corker line Tom delivered about someone bottling a fart which poisoned the whole of Dublin. He saw it and was amused. Our merriment, which had transpired to Rolling Stones flick, Shine a Light, was finally brought to a close and they went home.

Empire

After a glorious holiday and a cosy train ride home through the night we arrived back in Hat Yai. It really was a fantastic time up in Chumpon. Oi had her job interview, which seems like it was a success and we had a quick look about for houses too. Come March we will head up there again to look for somewhere to live and a job for me.

Back in Hat Yai and Mater has hit the shops once more. Tragically, the crap wiring in our house which the owner refuses to fix led to a power cut while we were away and all the wonderful foods, including tons of cheese, was ruined. Mater rushed out and bought tons more, though I haven't spotted any cheese yet in the crammed fridge. It doesn't matter, normally I try to live on little else than vegatable juice anyway. In the meantime however, I am back to stuffing my face with chocolate, Kettle chips, beer and fine breads and cakes.

Movies abound every night. We are working our way through the 80's mini series Shogan which is highly entertaining and last night we watched The Queen of Spades and Slendour in the Grass. I managed to find a rare movie requested by Mater. One which she has been searching for for forty years, and that even the collosal Andre failed to secure, tragically finding a copy, only to discover it was on a US system and and the thing wouldn't play. I succeeded in minutes and it downloaded overnight. Not bad as only 5 people were seeding it.

I took Mater up the track behind the mountain yesterday to get a glimpse of a tiny fragment of real jungle and the peace of Nature. It was very pleasant.

Grace is having a wonderful time not going to nursery and running about the house.

The ceiling of the porch came crashing down two nights ago. A crap job forcibly reduced in cost by the owner that lasted not 18 months. Luckily, no one was sitting underneath it at the time. I am going to chuck the sodden board over the wall later today.

I have had to stop ranting. Mater gets quite hot when I begin, though she does partially agree, of course. I told her the tale of Don waiting for his breakfast, me joining him and eating museli first. Forty minutes later the fat woman cook came out and got on her bike. Don shouted, "Where's my breakfast?" She replied she was just going to get the eggs. I left him, and went back to my room, unable to witness his fuming face any longer. This and a ton of other frustrating and painful stories.

It's nice to be home after over a week away, and it's even nicier not having to rush back to work yet. I can relax around the house, and leave to girls to go on their shopping trips. Oi told me of the stares they recieved as they stepped out of Robinsons department store with armfuls of shiney green bags stuffed with food and toys.

The routine of tea and coffee making and expert gin and tonics comes easy. The G&T's of course are made with real limes, which, I believe, if the official ingredient. Mater is very controlled, stopping at a single glass. I stagger to bed after about six generous vessals and a heavy helping of Jeremy Paxman's Empire series. "Play up! Play up! Play the game."

Chumphon Holiday

The Farm

Yesterday was Sunday and we headed for the farm to visit Oi's family and to meet her brother Om in the temple. He has been there nine months now and no sign of quitting. Ironically after completely his time as a monk he is going to join the Mary and become a soldier as he drew the red card from the national lottery all Thai men must face. However, the family are quite pleased as it keeps him off the streets and away from the dangerous drug gangs that ensnare so much of the youth here.

It was a great day out and mum had a fun time. After, we all came back to the beach and everyone went swimming. Grace enjoyed a bathe with grandma Noi splashing about in the sea.

The resort has been a huge success. Mum has been very happy and we are all quite relaxed. The breakfast buffet is excellent and  I down about three cups of coffee every morning. By early afternoon I am ready for a beer and my chosen lunch is predominately tuna sandwich and French fries.

My mum loves the ereader and I put a bunch of books on it before we left Hat Yai. The ipad makes a great distraction for Grace when she starts turning into a monster. I just shout "Ipad!" And she rushes into the room to play quietly on the bed.

I have been thinking about the next six months and the big plan to move up here. We are long overdue this move and I am eager to start packing.

We will probably book our train tickets today and head back home on Thursday. Mum still hasn't done too much in Hat Yai yet, so we are not short of things to do. Meter taxis have just arrived there and are considerably cheaper than the usual extortionate tuk-tuks.  Predictably there was huge opposition to their arrival in the town by the money hungry mafia, but is means shopping trips are a hell of a lot easier for the likes of us.

I have had a great time talking to mum and try to remind myself to keep talking and to discuss all the subjects and ask all the questions I want to know about her life and our family. Actually, as I enjoy writing , I have become aware of the wonder of listening to other people to gain characters and insight for material to write about. Mum comes out with all sorts of things that would never occur to me and I suddenly find myself thinking that this phrase or idea would be great writing material. My own imagination is just too limited to dream up some of the things other people say. Mum has come out with some corkers during our time together here. Her pursuit of coffee and toast, gin and tonic and a nice place to stay is relentless. I am so glad it all came together in this place. The Thai treatment of animals has not gone down well however. Dead dogs by the roadside bring utterances that would put Thai society to shame and verbal Venom spewed forth as an unfortunate crab was captured on the beach and was dismembered to the glee of the natives. Having witnessed such acts for the past ten years poor treatment of animals is hardly enough for me to raise my head anymore. One becomes numbed to such things amid the dirt and general smelliness of the country.

Don is sending me messages again after he has stated he is to be staying with us in November. It will be good to see him as long as he respects the limits of my hospitality. Unfortunately I will be back in full work mode when he arrives so my attention will be strictly limited. I need to concentrate of raising cash now and preparing to relocate. I look forward to concocting some mean green juices with him however and adopting a very healthy diet over the next six months.

Chump hon

We caught the night train up to Chumphon on Tuesday. It was two joined compartments which made for a fun and comfortable journey. Dinner, chat, bunk beds and late night gaming carried us though the night until we arrived at about 2 on Wednesday morning. We were greeted by a happy family who whisked us to the monolithic hotel that served us at our wedding four years previous. We climbed into bed and got a few hours rest until daybreak.

Oi's family turned up the next day and we shared breakfast and they drove us into the town where we booked into a rather more pleasant hotel. There is little to do in Chumpon. It's a lot smaller than Hat Yai  and has one major shopping mall. Amid the usual hectic Thai town, full of food stalls and motorcycles. We struggled around the shopping centre, Grace tearing off on her own and exhausting everyone.

The hotel was nice, but staying in the town rapidly became stale and saw us figuring out what do to next.

Various plans were put forward, but all involved much travel and potentially perilous boat or van journeys to sunny islands or beaches.

Finally we left for a day out at a local beach and luckily took our luggage with us just in case we found somewhere nice. And indeed we did.

At Nana beach we came to a fantastic resort. Luxurious bungalows, swimming pool fine dining and bar. Mum rushed in and immediately felt very at home. We have rented two bungalows, one for mum and one for us and can now relax on the balcony and take regular swims and wander back and forth to the restaurant with an array of tasty snacks and drinks. Grace is swimming about three times a day on average and wearing herself out with vigorous exercise. I should mention that he beach opposite the resort is also quite eye wateringly beautiful. I took an early morning stroll at six and returned with the herd in the evening.

Sleeping is never good for me anywhere other than home and there is a vicious strain of mosquito here which has had me scratching all night. Mum is bathed in insect repellent of has faired well in this respect.

Oi's folks pop over to visit armed with handfuls of fruit, including delicious passion fruit. We will take a day trip over to the farm and visit Oi's younger brother, Om, at the temple where is is serving his time as a monk, nine months now and ticking.

Oi had a successful job interview in a quaint, little school neighboring a cave temple. Fortunately, there is no place for me there, as I didn't want to work in the same school. I am not worried about my job search which should be fairly easy. It also helps that the family knows lots of folk here all over whom bend over backwards to help us. Our impending move to these parts in March is looking fairly rosy, though we have a lot of packing to do, houses to find and a huge list of stressful tasks to complete. Yet, I am really looking forward to moving up here and beginning a new chapter.

Mum is very happy at this resort and is soaking up the luxury. Morning coffee, marmalade and toast, gin and tonics, reading by the pool on my highly prized ereader, the occasional dip to cool off and lots of shopping in the town. My collection of towels has risen from a sufficient three to a staggering eleven after a particularly flamboyant shopping trip at recently deceased Carrefour, sadly now renamed to a rather boring Big C Extra.

Mater

Mater has arrived in glorious style. A terrific reunion at the airport which saw us waiting at the wrong gate. A swift taxi ride home led to a wonderful present opening bonanza, the chief prize being Ben and Holly's Little Castle. A toy which, miracle as it seems, has lasted more than five minutes and that could put the ipad in danger of redundancy. New dresses, pyjamas and Peppa Pig swimming costumes remained unviewed as the great castle was assembled. We left the tricky sticker labelling espisode until the next day when eyes were slightly more focused.

I was expecting a day of slow recovery. How foolish to even consider such a thing. Shopping! By early afternoon of the following day, kicking about the house was becoming tiresome and Mater and Oi headed for the unsurmountable Tesco's. The usually void fridge was suddenly having to deal with a full load of fine cheeses, yogurts and breads, all of which have been snacked upon at thirty minute intervals. Yes, my waist has expanded within a couple of days. Suddenly I find myself accepting milk and sugar in my coffee and moments of gorging on cheddar and olives. Gin flows like water, and I don't have to fear of finding a hardly sipped glass in the garden following my futile attempts at converting Oi to the fine art of alchoholism.

Did I forget the chocolates? A Christmas tray came, now long devoured, of Mars Bars, Twixes and Milky Ways. During the scoffing, I didn't even have time to mention that my dear friend Joel's father had deigned the wrapper. I suppose I shall save that fact for the next visitation.

Utter boredom approaching within minutes of inactivity saw us scuttling across to Songkhla. I pity the poor taxi driver whom we have adopted and it beckoned at least trice a day for some emerency shopping expedition. I jest, of course. Though, already he has become strangely unavailable.

Songkhla was phenominal. Our poxy local hotel proved sufficient. Fine restaurants, markets, department stores, playgrounds and aquariums all came under the Grand Tour, most of which survived the Empirical onslaught. Even a tropical storm, which sent the night market packing proved insufficient to contain the shopping frenzy. Early the next morning after hasty arrangements to provide the finest ground coffee and freashly baked croissants, were the streets and markets pounded again for an unstoppable shopathon of handbags and pyjamas for Christamas (which is only 3 months away).

Homeweard bound for Hat Yai, we stopped off at the train station to book air con coaches for the next part of our gruelling voyage to Chum Pon, in which, I am being forced to attend a job interview despite arriving at three in the morning. All attempts to question the haste at which events are timed have proved futile. I keep thinking about that joke about the actor landing the husband role in the new play only to be told to go back and get a speaking part!

All in all, it's been fantastic!