Happy Birthday To Peter.

Final attempt:

There was a young buck called Peter,
So jolly and kind just to meetcha,
A Hell of a fellow,
And sometimes he's mellow,
And when he goes on he's a preacher.

Failed previous attempts:


There was a young stuff called Peter,
Who told his wife he'd eat her,
She threw him outside,
And he lay down and died,
And that was the end of poor Peter.

There was this young stuff called Peter,
He was one Hell of a cheater,
He stole from his friends,
He kept ferrets and hens,
And Boy what a wiz with an egg beater!

There was a young man called Peter,
Whose father said, "Pass the salt, Peter."
He jumped up and down,
And pranced all around,
And bore a brat with a whore called Anita.

One more,

There was a young man called Peter,
He was just like his brother but neater,
He went to Belguim and France,
Where they taught him to dance,
And when they play him at cards, he's a cheater.