Mater

Mater has arrived in glorious style. A terrific reunion at the airport which saw us waiting at the wrong gate. A swift taxi ride home led to a wonderful present opening bonanza, the chief prize being Ben and Holly's Little Castle. A toy which, miracle as it seems, has lasted more than five minutes and that could put the ipad in danger of redundancy. New dresses, pyjamas and Peppa Pig swimming costumes remained unviewed as the great castle was assembled. We left the tricky sticker labelling espisode until the next day when eyes were slightly more focused.

I was expecting a day of slow recovery. How foolish to even consider such a thing. Shopping! By early afternoon of the following day, kicking about the house was becoming tiresome and Mater and Oi headed for the unsurmountable Tesco's. The usually void fridge was suddenly having to deal with a full load of fine cheeses, yogurts and breads, all of which have been snacked upon at thirty minute intervals. Yes, my waist has expanded within a couple of days. Suddenly I find myself accepting milk and sugar in my coffee and moments of gorging on cheddar and olives. Gin flows like water, and I don't have to fear of finding a hardly sipped glass in the garden following my futile attempts at converting Oi to the fine art of alchoholism.

Did I forget the chocolates? A Christmas tray came, now long devoured, of Mars Bars, Twixes and Milky Ways. During the scoffing, I didn't even have time to mention that my dear friend Joel's father had deigned the wrapper. I suppose I shall save that fact for the next visitation.

Utter boredom approaching within minutes of inactivity saw us scuttling across to Songkhla. I pity the poor taxi driver whom we have adopted and it beckoned at least trice a day for some emerency shopping expedition. I jest, of course. Though, already he has become strangely unavailable.

Songkhla was phenominal. Our poxy local hotel proved sufficient. Fine restaurants, markets, department stores, playgrounds and aquariums all came under the Grand Tour, most of which survived the Empirical onslaught. Even a tropical storm, which sent the night market packing proved insufficient to contain the shopping frenzy. Early the next morning after hasty arrangements to provide the finest ground coffee and freashly baked croissants, were the streets and markets pounded again for an unstoppable shopathon of handbags and pyjamas for Christamas (which is only 3 months away).

Homeweard bound for Hat Yai, we stopped off at the train station to book air con coaches for the next part of our gruelling voyage to Chum Pon, in which, I am being forced to attend a job interview despite arriving at three in the morning. All attempts to question the haste at which events are timed have proved futile. I keep thinking about that joke about the actor landing the husband role in the new play only to be told to go back and get a speaking part!

All in all, it's been fantastic!