Thanks for all the Fish.

Phew...it's Saturday and a chance to rest.

First up, thanks to all who offered help and advice regarding Fatherdom. It's a tough one, and I am glad to hear I have not been alone in having attacks of jealousy, anger and feeling left out of parenting. I had a chat to Oi and it has smoothed things out. I have requested that I do more jobs with Baby Grace; last night I assisted at bath time, and will do more jobs to be involved. And do more holding, feeding, cleaning up shit etc. Also, grandma plays a key role in the Thai culture thingy so I have to let her do her thing, which is cool because she's so damn good at it, and hardly says a word, just funny cooing and chirping noises - as do we all.

I can report that Baby Grace now has "gripping hands". Something Oi confirmed that is in her baby book. Grace can clasp my little finger allowing me to rock her tiny arm back and forth. She also looks directing at us, and goes from faces of extreme pain to cuddly little smiles in a few nanoseconds.

She is growing fast and seems very well developed. A couple of times a day I play her music. The best choices seem to be Amadou and Mariam and Lucinda Williams "Car Wheels on a Gravel Road" album. Men at Work was played earlier too, but they always were a bit naff. I keep repeating those albums and scanning her face for signs of a beat or even just some recognition. As yet, nothing to report. Yet, I am very aware that everything is going in, and assume at some point in the distant future, she will have a love of African rhythms and jungle beats. It is imperative that she understands that Thai pop music does not enter the definition of music and can only be appreciated for it's bubble gum pop contribution and sexy techno cyber babes, who without a doubt are extremely titillating in a purely erotic way. If I fail in this department, then sadly, all will be lost and she will cross over to the Thai/Japanese comic book, disco crazy culture which can only be compared to Shazza, Trace, Trev and Kev of the Portsmouth culture as read elsewhere on this blog. Apologizes to great idols Kev, guitar teacher (from Newcastle) and Kev Wooster (of Brixham, Dorset - through I question that locale too, for cheap ice cream and hard rock (the sicky, pink, crack your teeth variety).

I have just listened to this weeks Science In Action podcast. It is a must and has a great segment on Lake Batik (you know, the big one in Russia). One characteristic that makes it pretty vulnerable is that is is very shallow, averaging only 6 meters deep, though 25 in the centre. Yes, increased development in China, Kyrgyzstan (or whatever the fuck its called) is affecting the amount of water feeding it. There has already been indications that the water level is falling and obviously it is prone tro evaporation also. It is half fresh water and half saline. Scientists have bought it to the attention of respective governments, who as yet have taken no action to preserve the lake. Have a listen.

I am getting seriously into Enemy Territories Quake War as I found a bunch of very cheap original copies in the Robinsons Dept. store in town. A miracle find I must say as "original" does not exist in Hat Yai and to find about 5 or 6 of them is unheard of. I have informed the Gameheads in Hat Yai. They are Danny, Patrick and Andy. Danny has already rushed down there I bought a copy. I think Pat and Andy will too. Patrick has just got a mega new PC and connected it to his 42" TV. It looks damn good actually. This is something that I don't think I should do, sadly. My PC monitor is great anyway. Patrick is an ex-soldier. Irish Army and quite into military tactics and stuff. He likes the Ghost Recon series, which is awesome though stressful. However, he saw me playing Battlefield Heroes online the other day and really likes the multiplayer possibilities. This is great news for me as the only guys who I can ever talk to about PC games is Kyle and Joe who live in Bangkok. So it looks like we might have a little community of gamers here. All over 40. Still, we might make an elite squad and take out the Thai contingent or Aussies, or Singaporeans who play online. Hat Yai Heroes, I can see it now. It is burnt into my brain..."He never loved the Emperor."

Fatherhood is indeed strange, and I am definitely going through some kind of a change. Like, I really don't want to die on the way to work. I seem to have very watery eyes these days. Not like, I want to cry, just this feeling that I have a lot of water in them and they feel a bit sunken. Strange. I also find myself more attracted to Oi than usual. Like she's a sexy mum or something. Maybe, I just like the cosy, safe family feeling. She is certainly in her element. Those early feelings that I should marry Oi and that she was a good choice for a stable future together are starting to materialize. I am all for moving to Chumpon, though she is reluctant to go. I guess she wants to maintain some distance between her family or her step father. Her mum is great. I give her a shot glass of Guinness whenever I have some which she readily consumes. I gave her some blue cheese last night which she didn't like at all, though Oi has come to like it. Old socks were mentioned. She washed her mouth out with some apple. I had to tell her that apple and cheese actually go really well together. I think, however, the opportunity is lost, and she will no longer sample any cheese in the future.

Only one week left before the October break. I don't know what we are going to do. I think it will be a stay at home holiday, but I will definitely go on some rides with Don and the boys out to Songkhla for a hamburger or a Thai meal by the sea.